Why did I get divorced?

Surprise Birthday

Why did my marriage end? Well, let me tell you about my birthday last week.

Nobody remembered. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday, neither did my parents, nor my kids.

I went to work, and not a single colleague acknowledged it either.

Then, as I walked into my office, my secretary greeted me with, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt a little special.

She asked me to join her for lunch. Afterward, she invited me to her apartment. Once there, she asked, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a moment?” I said, “Sure.”

She came out five minutes later with a birthday cake and… my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and colleagues, all shouting “SURPRISE!!!” while I was sitting on the sofa… naked.


Talking

I was chatting with a girl at a club.

“Can I buy you a drink?” I asked.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” she replied. “Guys like you always have girlfriends.”

“No, we broke up just over a month ago,” I assured her.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said. “Alright, I’ll have a white wine please.”

A few drinks and some intimate moments later, we went back to her place. Afterward, as I was getting dressed, she asked, “You’re good looking, nice, and amazing in bed. What happened with your girlfriend?”

I said, “My wife found out.”